Jumat, 03 Desember 2010

First Trial

The game has just begun.
I just met one of my family friend. She was way older, and sometimes i see her as my auntie.
I met her this afternoon. Just for old time sake.
She was surprised when she saw me wear hijab. Then she said: "What is that? Take that off! Are you having a headache or what?"
In a minute after, it was me that so surprised. I didn't expect her reaction. Then she sat and started the conversation with "Why?"
Furthermore, she said about all the chances i have thrown away by wearing hijab. About hijab is not part of moslem's obligations. If i want to find a peace on heart, this is definitely not the right choice, also not in the right time.I can choose other things, like help the unfortunates people, or anything other than this. She believe, i would find it hard to live my life. There will be a lot of trials, hijab would not protect me from problems or bad people, and this hijab would only put me in the box, not a global person she was imagined me to become. She expressed it like she can't take this happening to me now. The final sentence was, she asked me to think about it at least a month, then try to take this hijab off.

And the worst was, her assistant (she wears hijab), told me: too bad, you have a beautiful hair.

I turned cold as stone.
I was amazed myself, why i didn't choose to leave her and her assistant immediately. I choose to listen.
Responded in awkward little laugh, nodded politely and tried to explain. That this was my decision, this is what i have been waiting for so long. I did this with struggle, made some investigations to my former HRD, the point is that i put my career on the edge.

But one thing i didn't say that i put these all, because i believe in the power of Lillahi ta'alaa
I believe Allah will give me better life, better career, better personality, in a way that she may not understand.

She said sorry afterward, and realized that she had no rights to tell me all those stuffs. Still, it doesn't really change what she said..i can only appreciate it. Those already broke my heart.

Lillahi ta'ala.. Lillahi ta'ala.. i did this, wear this hijab, and didn't listen to her Lillahi ta'ala.. only because of the holy Allah...amin

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