Senin, 28 Maret 2011

About an Ex

I'm in the mood for 90's songs today :)
Then i found a song Le Ragazze from Neri Per Casso, an a capella boyband from Italy.



This song reminds me of my Ex from junior high school. I had crush on him from 7th grade. He has a dark skin, lean hair, little eyes and nice smile :)

Actually, i had crush on his fair skinned friend. But somehow, that boy got steady with my friend, hahaha..broke my heart for a while, until my ex noticed me, and it took almost a year :)

That noon, i was in my shuttle car, talked about him with Poety, my senior which was his classmate. All of sudden, he passed the car, and Poety called him. And surprisingly he came to Poety, looked at me a while, then asked my name and my phone. I didn't want to lose my chance, so i asked his number back, hihihi...

We became friends after since with intense phone calls. After two weeks, we asked me to get steady, and i said yes :) it was a moment for me, that i will always remember. He might not my first love, but obviously my deep crush that time.

We both like Le Ragazze from Neri Per Casso. Well, actually i like it first because it reminds me of his voice. Yes, he has a nice voice, i could hear him talking for hours even sometimes i didn't understand what he's talking about, hehehe ;p

I didn't remember if we ever had a serious date. I used to refused because i was so nervous when he's around. But he nagged me to give us some quality time. So, we used to came to school early, and take a walk for 15 minutes, then back to school. It was a nice date for both of us.

Unfortunately, those wonderful days only last for three months. You know how teenager and relationship right? Hahaha..

Even though we broke up, we still keep in touch.

Our communication went distant when he moved for high school. I heard he dated someone, but nothing serious between them, because his dad forbid him. The other thing i heard about him, is that he got into drugs problem. I can even sensed it when i call him. He can't talk steadily, and lost his focus.

It was sad for me, really *my eyes went warm when i wrote this :')*. Because i still, liked him very much that time, and it hurts to see someone that you care about got into drugs.

When i went to college, we became friends. We're not in the same college, but somehow, we managed to be friends. He called me frequently. But too bad, it wasn't me he was trying to approach. He tried to get me into his friend.

We hung out few times, but his friend was the one who gave me affections. Not him, not the way i want it :')

I didn't remember why, but we became more distant when his friend got another girl. Well, isn't that complicated? Hahahaha!

Few years passing by...
I heard that my ex's dad died because of heart attack. His friend's parents got bankrupt, so he can't call me again because he doesn't have any money.

It was so SAD for me to hear that. I really wanted to help to elevate my ex's self esteem, really wanted to comfort him that time, but he seems to feel better to disappear.

Years gone by, i still didn't know where my ex left. His friends call me sometimes, and he became a counselor for drug addict :)

One and a half year before i got married, i met my old crush, his fair skinned friend i mentioned above. He told me, he met my ex once a while. He told me, my ex was suffering a disease, until his body weight dropped into 35kg (he is 168cm tall). But he can't reckon what it was. I assumed it because of his drug problem effect. I asked him where to find my ex, but he lost my ex's number.

Right before i got married, my high school friend, Aul, tweeted me, asked if i still remember my ex. I said Yes, of course! Deep in my heart i cursed my self, why did i never asked Aul before about my ex!!!
Then Aul delivered the shocking news, my ex has died. Like few days or a week before she tweeted me. I can't describe how awful i felt that time... i broke down, feel so sad, because i never had a chance to really show him that i care.. *now i really trying to hold my tears*

Dear TFY, may you rest in peace... really hope you read this, :')

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