A conversation between me and my friends, Ocha and Dido, on Friday lunch brought me to some of my thoughts.
About controlling emotion.
Only few people known me as emotional woman, especially when it comes to impolite men. Men whom always try to get attention from girls, whenever they had a chance, with bad and annoying attitudes.
When i got whistlers, fake-cough, or sometimes those men call me with nicknames i hate, i used to give them my middle finger.
Yeah, i am not as sweet as they thought. Not all the girls have sweet attitudes when it comes to buggers like them. To be expressly clear, i am not a sweet girl at all for them.
I used to yelled back when a man condescend me with gender issues. I don't (and never) like it when they said 'You're just a girl'.
I once yelled at vending siomay man, because he tried to teased me from behind. I shouted to him to leave, i yelled so loud until people around us freeze a moment, and he left red faced.
I never mind hit a man with my bag to his face, because men stand in my way on purpose. I want them to know, that nothing stops me, even their ugly face and attitude getting in my way.
My heart always feel better when i can tell to an impolite man how ugly he was until his face looked like his hurt.
I like to hurt impolite men until now.
The difference after i wear hijab is, now i have to think twice, pull myself together before do something extreme like i used to. I barely use my middle finger, hold my yell, and only use my snobby face up to crack those men down. Few men understood, most impolite men don't. I believe GOD always create a man perfectly. Only for these men, they don't use what GOD has given to them as perfect as they have made.